The undeniable strength of family

“You make yourself strong because it's expected of you. You become confident because someone beside you is unsure. You turn into the person others need you to be.” – Jodi Picoult

For most of my life, I was the strong one.  I was the one who watched out for bullies, wiped away tears, snuggled during a thunderstorm and loves unconditionally.  I am a piece of a very small puzzle.  My sister and I share a special bond – we are twins.  While Michelle and I are fraternal twins, meaning our genetic similarity is the same as if we were simply siblings, the relationship that we share is incredibly strong.  I would describe my twin as my soul mate.  In every stage of my life, Michelle has always been there.

At the age of two, Michelle and I were apprehended by the Children’s Aid Society and placed in foster care.  By 4.5 years old we were named wards of the state and spent the next 19 years in care.  Michelle and I learned quickly that we were the only family we had.  Despite the fact that our birth parents moved in and out of our lives, they were never consistent nor were they healthy relationships.  Michelle and I were lucky to live together in the same foster home.  Living in care is another story all on its own.

While most teens begin to grow into their independence and begin to distance themselves from their family as they begin to discover self, I was already there.  Early on in my life, I took on the role of a mother.  I cared for my sister.  I showed her unconditional love, inspired her trust and encouraged her self-esteem.  For all of us who have siblings, there are genetic similarities, look-a-like facial features and similar mannerisms.  But what makes us each different is our personal experience of the world and our resilience in times of difficulty.  Where I am strong and outgoing, my sister is sensitive and reserved.  Where I entertain the risk of failure my sister wonders ‘what if’.  We are special and beautiful in our own way.  We teach each other different things.  I teach her to be brave, she teaches me to be kind.

My experience of a family of two taught me how incredibly important family is.  Without Michelle I would have never faced the world alone.  I never would have learned to love like I do.  With the support of my twin I learned to believe and to trust.  So, whoever you are, whatever you define as your family hold it dear and cherish it.