I am feeling
a bit nostalgic lately. So many moments
have occurred in my life; moments that have led me in the direction that I was
going and other moments that set me off on an entirely new path. Looking back, I have noticed something. It seems that the moments that led me in a
different direction than I had planned were pretty remarkable ones. Some of the moments were difficult and
emotionally draining experiences but my evolution of self as a result is
remarkable.
2007 was a year that my
whole world turned on its axis. The
person that I was becoming was interrupted and almost forsaken. I made mistakes, I hurt people and in the end
I was stronger, smarter and more insightful.
Those moments enabled me to stand up for my desires and wants and I
learned to love myself for who I was, which enabled love to flourish around
me. Finally, I had shed the little-girl
armour that had prevented me from letting others in. I unlocked my voice and more importantly I
believed in that voice.
In 2011
again my world shifted, this time was different. I was scared, absolutely terrified by the
thought of losing the most incredible, loving man I have ever known. For a woman who grew up being left behind by
so many people these moments were both trying and difficult. This journey in sickness and health became a
life lesson for me. I was reminded that
nothing is as important as health, love and letting go. That early morning in February was the beginning
of a series of events that lead to multi-faceted growth within my foundation of
self. That morning woke up the woman
inside me who had the desire to live a true life. In living true, I believe life is
about living in the moment, about being really present and living up to the
only expectations that matter- your own, and only the realistic ones. It became my mission to solidify my foundation of self so that in any future times of trouble or distress my sense of being wouldn’t falter. I wanted to know what I needed in order to cope, what I needed to do to take care of myself before taking on the needs of another. In this foundation building my greatest achievement was allowing myself to put my needs ahead of all others. I learned that doing so is not selfish, but necessary. Letting go became the ticket to putting myself first. I became more invested in my own needs and gave little power to the needs and expectations that existed outside of my own.
Life has
taught me that the life we plan isn’t always the life we are meant to live and
that’s ok. Life is about loving the
moments and sharing the love in those moments with the people around you that
really matter.
