A foundation becomes the building blocks of one’s being that is below the surface, often unseen yet it maintains the integrity of all that settles upon it.
There are moments in our lives that shake us to our core. Moments that have us wondering, how am I going to manage? Moments that leave us worried about what might come next, and will this get easier.
My journey in recreating my foundation of self was born out of one of those moments. A year ago this month, the integrity of my foundation was tested. I am a planner, a control freak and I make decisions only after I have researched, contemplated and evaluated my options. But, I have learned that life doesn’t always have room for control. I have found great comfort in being part of a process and planning helps keep me grounded. Then out of nowhere, something happens and my life changes in an instant.
In January of 2011 my partner, John was suddenly unwell which resulted in emergency surgery and ten days in the hospital and months of recovery followed nine months later by two more surgeries and another 13 days in hospital. So, I the one who has always needed to be in control was suddenly lost. In the moments, days, weeks and months of stress I lost sight of my foundation of self. But as John got better and the stress found its way out of our lives, we found a new normal. I came to the realization that as much as control had protected me in my past, it had suddenly failed me. I didn’t want to be in this position ever again. I promised my future self I would not let everything go just to manage. So my recreating begins there...
No comments:
Post a Comment